A kindness meditation is a simple way to turn the mind towards warmth and goodwill. You silently repeat a few kind wishes, first for yourself and then for other people. It can feel awkward at first, and that is completely normal.
The practice
- Sit comfortably and take a few slow breaths.
- Bring to mind yourself, as you are today. Silently repeat: May I be safe. May I be well. May I be at ease.
- Think of someone you care about and offer them the same wishes: May you be safe. May you be well. May you be at ease.
- Think of someone you hardly know, such as a neighbour or a shop assistant, and offer the wishes to them.
- Finally, widen it to everyone: May all beings be safe, well and at ease.
If it feels hard
- If wishing yourself well feels difficult, start with someone it is easy to love, then return to yourself.
- Change the words to ones that feel natural to you.
- Notice any feelings without judging them.
What it is
Kindness meditation, often called loving-kindness, means silently repeating warm wishes, first for yourself and then for others. It does not require you to feel loving at the start. You are simply practising an attitude of goodwill, the way you might practise a musical scale.
A ten-minute session
- Settle (1 minute): take a few slow breaths and let your body relax.
- Yourself (2 minutes): “May I be safe. May I be well. May I be at ease.”
- Someone you love (2 minutes): picture them and offer the same wishes.
- Someone neutral (2 minutes): a neighbour or shop assistant you barely know.
- Someone difficult (1–2 minutes): start with someone mildly annoying, not someone who has hurt you deeply.
- Everyone (1 minute): “May all beings be safe, well and at ease.”
Finding your own words
- “May I be peaceful.”
- “May I accept myself as I am.”
- “May you be happy and healthy.”
- “May you be free from worry.”
Choose phrases that feel natural and meaningful to you. Short, simple wishes work best.
When it feels hard
- If wishing yourself well feels awkward, start with someone you love easily, or a pet.
- If difficult feelings arise, return to your breath, or to wishing yourself kindness.
- Skip the “difficult person” step until you feel ready.
Common questions
What if I don’t feel anything?
That is fine. Simply repeating the phrases with sincere intention is the practice.
Is it religious?
Versions of this practice come from Buddhist traditions, but it is widely used in secular settings. You can practise it whatever your beliefs.
How often should I do it?
A few minutes a day, or once a week alongside your usual meditation.
Key points
- Offer simple, warm wishes: to yourself, loved ones, others and everyone.
- Feelings are optional; intention is what counts.
- Start with what is easy and go gently.
Try it now: set the meditation timer for five minutes
